I think my boyfriend is cheating

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you and I hope that you can help me. I am living with my boyfriend, but I am not happy because he is still running around and  does not want to admit that he has other women. 

I have tried my best to keep this man at home, but he lies about his job. He tells me that he has to work extra money because his aim is for us to be able to have our own house by the end of this year. 

I know he is working hard. I don’t know how much he gives his girlfriend out there, but every month he gives me $80,000 to put into our bank account. Both of our names are in the account. Sometimes the thought of leaving him comes to mind and I told him so, but I would not leave this man and take all his money because, at present, I am not working and he is paying all the bills. 

I have a friend I confide in and she said that I would be stupid to leave this man because I can’t prove that he has women outside. Since we have been together, I have not looked at another man. However, men have tried to get me. In fact, one of his close friends has been to our house when he knows that my man is at work. He tried to get me to go to bed with him. I told my boyfriend that he has been here and my boyfriend told me that whenever he returns, I should call him on the phone and he would leave right away. I do not want any violent clashes in this place because my boyfriend can be very aggressive. So, I told his friend that he should never visit me when he knows that my man is at work. 

Sometimes when we are in bed, my boyfriend’s phone rings and he gets up and goes outside to answer it. I asked him why he has to answer; he says that it is because it is work related. But I know he is lying! I think one of his girls is calling him. I am jealous of this man and I don’t want him to leave me, because good men are hard to find. 

R.

Dear R.,

You know you have a good man. You suspect that he has other women with you, but you can’t prove it. This man should tell folks not to call him after certain hours. When he goes to bed he should turn off his phone. He may not agree that his phone should be totally off, but at least he should put the phone on silent. 

Good men are hard to find, but a jealous woman can ruin a good relationship, so cut out the jealousy. I hope that your boyfriend is not guilty of having other women. He brings in a lot of money. Please do not misuse it.

I hope very soon that he will be able to purchase a house. 

Pastor