My mother thinks my legs are dangerous

Dear Pastor,

Greetings in Jesus' name, I am a regular reader of your column. I am 16 years old and my mother is treating me as a little child.

She doesn't want me to go out with my friends, even though I am not a bad girl. I have never done anything out of the way. Almost all of my friends are from the school I attend, and they also go to the same church as I do.

My church was having a beach trip and two buses were hired. I wanted to go but my mother refused to allow me. At first she said she didn't have the money for the trip, so I asked my aunt to help me. My aunt gave me the money. When I told my mother that I got the money from my aunt, she was very upset. She then came up with another excuse. She said she did not want me to go on the trip because I would have to wear a bathing suit, and guys are going to be there and they are going to see my sexy leg and lust after me.

I told my mother that lots of old people are going to be there, so even if the guys saw my sexy leg, they could not do anything to me because it was going to be a church trip and I would be safe.

My aunt told her that I could even wear shorts over my bathing suit, but she did not allow me to go. If I wanted to be bad, I could be bad. I have never had sex. I have never kissed a boy. All I do is to study and work hard because I want to be a medical doctor. The only time I get to go out is whenever my father comes to Jamaica and he comes to pick me up. My mother cannot stop me and she is glad for the money my father gives to me because she takes most of it from me. But I have never told my father that she does that.

My father has married a white woman and he always brings me lovely things. I am planning to study in America. My father is putting everything in place for me.

K.S.

Dear K.S.,

Let me begin by telling you that you are a good girl, and your mother should appreciate you and treat you as a teenager.

Some girls your age would rebel and create problems for their mothers. But you are not that type; you are very obedient. Your mother believes that you would do things that are bad. She would have big restrictions on you, but to prevent you from going out even in groups is foolish. Why can't you go on a church trip and ear a bathing suit? Your mother is behaving as if she is from the Stone Age. But I have a word of encouragement for you. Two years from now you would be an adult, and if your father is planning for you to live abroad and to attend medical school there, you will be out of your mother's house.

So I beg you, please, do not rebel. Very soon you will get freedom. I wish you well; I really do.

Pastor